Yeay Finally :)

Salam.

Alhamdulillah. Praise to Allah finally I already received an email from Newcastle University. So, sebelum ni I still felt unsure laaa like am I going to Australia ? Macam tu sekali kannn. Now, it is a sure :)

Happy Face :) *wink*

It is with GREAT PLEASURE that I am forwarding to you an offer for a place in a program at the University of Newcastle ;) Thank you Allah 

Well, it is still conditional offer though. To get unconditional kena isi online form which is yet to be done. But still Alhamdulillah :)

Tapi apa pun, semua ini datang dari Allah. Dia yang memberi kita dan berkuasa atas segala-galanya. Mudah-mudahan alah mempermudahkan segala-galanya. Thank you, Allah :) And I think I will never feel bored on thanking Allah for giving me all the nikmat and not to let me astray from Him. InsyaAllah :)

* Cinta teragung

Salam.

Setiap hari aku diberi peluang untuk bernafas dengan percuma, tanpa satu sen bayaran. Setiap hari aku bangun dan diberi lagi peluang untuk melihat orang orang yang paling aku sayang. Setiap hari juga aku dipenuhi dengan rezeki dan nikmat yang tidak ternilai harganya.

Aku seorang Muslim. Tertulis pada kad pengenalan seorang Muslim. Gadis muslim dan ya, aku bangga menjadi sebahagian dairpada keluarga Islam dan bangga menjadi Muslim. Tapi, aku terfikir adakah bangga itu cukup untuk menjadikan aku seorang Muslimah ? Aku pernah tinggal solat, aku mungkin telah mengguris hati kedua ibu bapaku, aku mungkin juga pernah mengguris hati guru guruku, rakan rakan ku. Aku lalai ketika dimanjai dengan nikmat dunia. Aku lupa dari mana datangnya nikmat itu. I do sins. YES I do and bangga tak akan dapat menjadikan aku seorang muslimah. Tak akan dapat menjadikan aku seorang Muslim yang selama ini aku banggakan. Aku malu pada diri sendiri. Hanya cakap kosong. Berusaha tetapi mungkin agak sambil lewa.

Setiap kali aku merintih, waktu itu sejadah dan al Quran menjadi teman yang paling setia. Dan pada saat itu, aku merasa seolah olah Allah begitu dekat padaku. Seolah Allah membelaiku dan menenangkan jiwaku. Setiap titisan air mataku diusapkan dengan ketenangan hati. "Ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa hamba-Mu ini yang kerdil lagi hina ya Allah. Ampunkanlah dosa kedua ibu bapaku ya Allah, guru guruku, rakanku, keluargaku dan seluruh umat Islam ya Allah. Ya Allah berikanlah aku ketenangan hati. Kuatkanlah semangatku. Pinjamkanlah padaku kekuatan rasulmu Muhammad s.a.w ya Allah "
Dan itu adalah bait bait doanya. Allah mendengar doa tersebut, insyaAllah.

Suatu hari aku tersentak, banyak betul dosa yang telah aku lakukan. Mungkin aku tidak sengaja ataupun secara sengaja, Allah tetap dekat dgn hambanya. Allah tetap berlembut dengan hambanya walaupun telah melakukan dosa yang amat besar sekali pun. Bayangkan, kita manusia jika barang kepunyaan kita rosak, terus kita akan lempar jauh jauh. Tapi, Allah tidak begitu. Tidak sesekali dia membuang hambanya. Aku sedar betapa byk hidayah dan perlindungan yg telah Allah berikan padaku. Terlalu byk. Setiap kali aku mungkin terpesong dan lalai, akan ada sesuatu yang menyedarkan aku. Subhanallah, sayangnya Allah pada hambaNya.

Aku mengira hari untuk Ramadhan. Ramadhan penuh dengan nikmat dan rahmat Allah. Aku mengharapkan ini ramadhanku yang terbaik dan Ramadhan kali ini adalah permulaan untuk masa lalai aku suatu masa dulu. Friends, make this Ramadhan useful and try to grab as many pahala as we can. Allah sentiasa memberi peluang pada hambaNya. This is my chance to be a better persons and you too. Perhaps we should just start from this moment ;)

p/s : and ohh, my cinta teragung is Allah s.w.t laaaaaa kan ? What else

Bye peeps. Assalamualaikum. May today is better than yesterday and be grateful that you're Muslim :)

* Wedding ;)

Salam.

You know, I just love weddings. Seronok tgk orang jadi cantik like princess <3. I just get back form my uncle's wedding and I felt awesome sebab berjaya buat hantaran although it is not that gorgeouslaaa like Pak Abu kann, but still I'm satisfied and of course with the help of ibu and kaknyah. (actually, ibu yang put lots of effort like a lottt okay. i was just apart of it jee)

Basically, some of the hantaran that me and ibu gubah ;)

Ring :)

Perfume and konco konconya. HAHA ;)

Kain with white roses ;)

Longchamp handbag ;)

Shoe ;)

This is my uncle, we called him Yeid. Wierd much eh? HAHA

Here's the lovely bride Aunty Eika. She's so pretty laaaa ;)

After nikah <3 Happy Wedding

Reception. So Royal like that :)

Family picture. Sadly, I was not in because I busy taking other people's picture.

Well, that's it for the update. I'll update for the wedding in kampung pulak ;) Soon.

* Idea zaman sekarang

Salam.

Batuk batuk kerana sudah lama tak update. Duhhh, dasar malas kan. Recently, I kinda love radio probably kerana asyik berjalan ke sana ke mari and travelling all the way to Kuala Lumpur for some real busy business. I just heard this advert about gemuk. it sounds pretty much like this "gemuk, gemuk, gemuk. Eh, tgk anak dia gemuklaaaa... and yadaa yadaa yadaaa" Lebih kurang like thatlaaaa kan.

I am not condemning anybody but I just thought (my opinion really doesn't matter btw) that that kinda advert should be more not offensive. Tak kiralaaaa the iklan tentang gemuk ke or even worst cerita about people's weaknesses. It was not a good idea laaa for me. Okay, kembali ke advert gemuk tadi. I don't say it because I gemuk and felt offended or whatsoever but, there's a lot more way to actually sampaikan the actual message. The idea of the advert is to convey a message saying to actually control what you eat and live a healthy lifestyle but it turns out to be the other way round. People don't actually get the idea. That kind of idea is tooo "brainless" i could say. Try to do some more educational kinda advert. Idea tu kasi laaa brilliant sikit. I mean in a smart way. Insulting is not a good idea of educating and conveying messages that is important I would say.

Ibu said, mungkin itu idea orang zaman sekarang untuk sampaikan message tanpa pedulikan mana mana pihak.

And i said, advert should be natural in a way semua orang boleh accept it.

Well, a short post for now untuk babbling. Just get back from wedding and will be updating more on the wedding ;)

Bye peeps <3

* once upon a time

Once upon a time, in a far away land live one girl named Aiana. She was shy and not really smart at that time. She lived with her parents and also three of her sister. She went to school and was the least favourite student. She have no idea how maths work. She even fail to divide 10 by 5. I mean, how dumb was that? She can only get the highest mark of 50% on every maths test in the school until madam Rahiey thought that OMG, what actually happen to you. That's how stupid she is at maths. At that times, she hardly even know to speak English. She can only know to say Hello, Good Morning, good night and simple stuff like that. Even, she spoke like a *****. She was sad and decided to change her life. As so, she worked hard to prove that she is not dumb. Like seriously, working freaking hard. Then again, she passed the exam but not really excellent I must say.

She continue her life with more determination. She says "I don't wanna be stupid. i don't wanna be the pain in the ass to my parents". That word really push her up to a higher level and then, she managed to get into boarding school. Its an achievement I would say. Boarding school life was so different. There, she learns little bit about life. She fall in love, she fought with friends and then they became best friend for sure, she laughed and she also cry. She's eager to learn and very determine but one day something happen and it actually change her.

One day in class, a teacher is talking about career thingy which caught her attention. She want to become a doctor and she knows she want it badly. The sad part is the teacher said like this. "In this class, I can see few future doctor's." She was excited because she thought she is one of the "future doctor's" mentioned earlier. Then, the teacher pointed out "You, you, you, you, and you I can say will be a future doctor's". She was not in the "you" list. The worst thing is that she is the only one that is not being pointed. She questioned herself. The least she want to hear is the hope that probably that teacher can give to her. Something that can actually motivate her. She did not give up however, she know she can do it. She know it, deep down. She will prove to the teacher that "You are so wrong, Madam". Final exam is coming and she did passed with flying colour. She went to see the teacher with a few of her friends and surprisingly, the teacher says, "OMG, you passed as well?" Again, heartbroken. She said, "I'll always be dumb, always and forever. I'm not smart and always be. People always look down on me and they will always do"

Until now, she felt that she is not accountable to anybody. People did not care about her, about her opinion or about her idea. People thought that she has the lowest degree of thinking. People don't bother to ask her because she has different opinion than other. She has no match with people who wants to talk about critical issues because she is she. At this moment, she still think that she is she once upon a time.

* yes, i do :)

; When I suddenly feel like falling in love with I don't even know who. Saja saja rasa. Probably my future husband tu pun feel the same way kot :)

Dear future husband, I do not know where you are and mostly who are you, but this will definitely be a song for you, love :)

It's always been about me myself and I

If all relationships were nothing but a waste of time
I never wanted to be anybody's other half
I was happy to say that our love wouldn't last
That was the only way I knew to that you

You make we wanna say
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo
Yeah, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo
Cause every time before we spend like
Maybe yes and maybe no
I can live without it, I can let it go
Ooh, I did, I get myself into
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,

Tell me is it only me
Do you feel the same?
You know me well enough to know that I'm not playing games
I promise I won't turn around and I won't let you down
You can trust and never feel it now
Baby there's nothing, there's nothing we can't get through

So can we say
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo
Oh baby, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo
Cause every time before we spend like
Maybe yes and maybe no
I won't live without it, I won't let it go
Wooh Can I get myself into
You make we wanna say

Me a family, a house a family
Ooh, can we be a family?
And when I'm old and sit next to you.

And when we remember when we said
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo
Oh baby, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do doo
Cause every time before we spend like
Maybe yes and maybe no
I won't live without it, I won't let it go
Just look at what we got ourselves into
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,
Love you <3

p/s : okay, kita rasa looser sekarang =,=

* kitataksukaaaaaaaaaaaa

okay, itu je kita nak cakap. Tulisan kecik saja bagi taknak bagi nampak ;)

* I can't stop smiling :)

Salam.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, and Alhamdulillah. Finally, my placement is finalised. And finally, I can pursue my dream which is to be a doctor :) Moga Allah permudahkan segalanya, amin. The journey is long and hard. Along the way, terlalu banyak air mata. Terlalu banyak rejection. All this while, I kept blaming myself. I kept questioning myself.

1. Betul ini jalan yang aku pilih?
2. Kenapa diorang tolak aku? Aku tak cukup bagus ke?
3. Aku tak ada muka medic student ke? Tak layak ke?

And the question went on and on and on. But, still kawan kawan kata have faith in Allah. Someday, you'll get what you want and it is the best from Allah. And, yes I believe that. Setelah melalui penolakan penolakan dari Irish university, memang rasa diri ini looser, malah sangat looser (mungkin sebab orang Ireland tak suka saya kan). Dengan Czech pun kena tolak. Haih =,='. Tapi, rupa rupanya Allah nak simpan yang lagi satu ni. AUSTRALIA :)

Hati saya dah terbuka untuk Aussie. Saya yakin, itulah tempat terbaik untuk saya. University Newcastle had accepted me to be one of their international students for medicine. See, this university believe me. They know I can do medicine in their university. Thank you, newcastle :) With the hardest interview I've ever had in which they have this mini stations with life scenario and what not (because they want to know how you think and who you are, exactly) and also IQ test or i can say "ISAT" kinda test. It's worth the pain :)

Not to mention, my makngah and pakngah yang kata "InsyaAllah dapatla tu kalau ada rezeki". They seem to agak that my rezeki is there. And also, my cousin, Hatim (you can actually visit his blog here ) yang bagi advice di saat saat akhir. i still remember "Jangan takutlaa kakak, dah berapa kali interviewkan. be yourself and rilex. Cakap lepak je" HAHA, that's what he said. And, my ibu yang before pergi says "Okay kakak, good luck. Ibu doakan kakak dari sini" and also ayah yang willing to send me to KL . Thank you people :)

I hope Allah permudahkan segalanya. I want to fly badly and be a good doctor. Can I say, if Tok Sham is till alive, he must be soooo happy. I miss Tok Sham :(

Okay okay, lets just pray for the best. And Australia, here I come :)

Sydney, InsyaAllah :)

Newcastle; I'll "bermastautin" here for the next five years. InsyaAllah

Newcastle part two :)

And, this will be the place untuk menuntut ilmu :) insyaAllah

p/s: gambar di atas adalah ihsan Google sebab nak ada slight preview of this place.

Oh oh, by the way, my roommate Arlina Arshad is accepted as well. Doakan kitorang :)

* Habis pahala dengan menyumpah

Salam.

Mula mula better off to start with Astaghafirullahalazim. Oleh kerana hari ni hari Jumaat. penghulu segala hari, harapannya adalah untuk menjadikan hari ini lebih baik dari hari sebelumnya dan akan minimise kan dosa dosa yang mungkin tidak disengajakan seperti mengumpat dan lain lain. Tetapi, biasalaa bila kita dah berazam nak berusaha bersungguh-sungguh, mesti adalah punya cabaran yang melanda. yang paling penting, cabarannya tak adalaa susah mana macam kena kejar anjing ke, atau yang sewaktu dengannya kan. Saja je nak over emo sikit. Tapi, karangan ini juga adalah sebahagian luahan rasa hati (eceh, ayat nak melankolik je kan) dan juga peringatan pada diri sendiri dan juga pada orang lain (kalau ada yang baca).

Pertamanya, memanglaa saya tak faham. Kenapa kalau nak ambil anak atau nak hantar anak kena parking kereta betul betul depan sekolah tu? Kalau ada laluan kereta boleh masuk terus sekolah mcm drive thru McD tu agak agak berderet laaa kereta kan. And, kalau yang tak boleh blah nye parking sampai 40 jam semata mata nak tunggu anak yang akan keluar kelas dalam masa 40 minit lagi. Jadinya, jam jalan tu. Faham tak, jam ! tension tau tak. Adoilaaa. Puan puan, encik encik, bapak bapak, dan ibu ibu. Silalah jangan park kereta anda di tengah tengah jalan yang akan block satu kawasan Taiping tu. Alahai. kalau anak balik pukul 1, jgnlaa datang 40 minute in advance, lepas tu parking dkt tgh tgh kawasan, habis orang lain yang nak lalu ni macam mana? Terpaksa anak org lain lintas jalanlaaa. Okay, bahaya faham? Tak acila anak pakcik ke makcik dapat keluar pintu gate terus lompat masuk kereta, kalau anak Agung mungkin saya fahamlaaa. Anddd, yang paling penting, kalau nak hantar anak pergi sekolah tu, tak payahla siap payung payung and angkat bag segala siap pimpin tangan sampai masuk classroom, paling penting kereta mereka di park di pertengahan jalan macam biasa. Dulu waktu saya sekolah, ingat lagilaaa. Ibu hantar pergi sekolah tak ada maknanya nak angkat bag. Kau angkatla sendiri yeeee. Independentlaa sedikit. Apa yang lagi membuat darah mendidih adalah, apabila anak mereka sudah selamat berada dalam kereta dan nak blah dari situ, mulalaaa nak hon kereta semua org yg halang kereta. Tak boleh keluar. Haaa, baru padan muka. Like Hello! Padanlaa muka kan parking tgh jln lagi kan, sekarang kau tunggulaa 40 minit lagi mcm mana kau buat org lain.

Orang stressss, tau takkk! Disebabkan inilah pelbagai kata kata yang tidak terlalu enak telah dikeluarkan. Masalah betulla. Okaylaaa, mungkin tak boleh salahkan sesiapa sebab sayang anak tapi berpada-padalaaa kan.

Kita kan, kenalaa consider other people jgk, jadi moral of the story, janganlaaa selfish sangat because bukan kau sorang je yang duduk dalam dunia ni. Banyak lagi manusia lain okay?

* Thank you Allah :)

This is it. It's final and I am sooooo grateful Syukur, Alhamdulillah. Allah knows what best for me, and there you go :)

All this while, I cried a lot like a lottttttttt ! My life was haywire. I've been rejected. I've failed. And, seriously, I feel like a real looser. But, somehow, He actually saves something for me. Despite of that terrible things, ada hikmah yang Allah simpan which is very ghaib. I can't see it until now.

Cantik betul susunan Allah. Dugaan itu ada hikmahnya, setiap air mata itu ada harganya. At least, aku semakin dekat dengan Allah, Maha Pencipta. Thank you Allah, for this wonderful feeling :)

* Second Glance

"Heroes didn't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn't wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back."

-Jodi Picoult-